It seems to be that no matter how much I enjoy blogging and posting photos I don't seem to be able to keep the blog up dated on any kind of regular basis. I have struggled with the purpose of doing so since I started posting here a couple of years ago . Is this for business or pleasure...self discovery or self indulgence.
I'm sure that my bi-polar life and hobbies can't be helping this struggle. Am I a burlesque dancer, producer or teacher...can I be one without the others. Am I a bellydancer, a yogi, an artist, a seamstress, a partner, a mother to be....can I be all these things and be really happy with any of them while I juggle all the rest?
I'm sure I would post here all the time if I could let myself honestly say how I was feeling and indulgence in vulnerable exchange with the masses. A piece of me knows that's why this all began...as a way of using you as therapy. But it's taken years of convoluted posts to even begin to be brave enough to say that I have any sort of real feelings about anything.
I'm trying to figure out a way to feel more connected to myself, my life and my work. It seems silly to think I might find such a feeling typing in the middle of the night and sending it out into the wasteland of Internet blogs but who knows...it is where I find myself pulled tonight, out of my bed and to the keyboard.
Picture: Dancing Fairy, paper pinwheel. They dance when the air catches their skirts...and every once in awhile they fall off their sticks. Seems appropriate...good night xoxo
2 comments:
Hi Helen - Just came upon your blog and this post - thanks for the movitation. I started a blog which I loved doing, but has gotten away from me and I haven't posted in many months. I think I'll get back at it :)
I have fallen off the blogging horse many times. I haven't posted consistently in a really long time even though I'd like too. Each time it gets away from me I feel like I need a really strong comeback....which then leads to not coming back at all. The current plan is to not be so hard on myself and just write what I feel like when I feel like and to try and do it for myself without thinking too much about other people. I get much less "honest" when I'm thinking about people reading it.
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